


Public Forum

by TheDeathEcchi



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 05:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15163871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeathEcchi/pseuds/TheDeathEcchi
Summary: “Ooh, promising!” he chuckled, gleefully rubbing his hands together. “Let's see…’official popularity ranking of the Paladins of Voltron’...” And as his eyes scanned the poll, his smile faded, until it disappeared altogether, before turning into an outraged scowl. “What the heck!?”





	Public Forum

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amuerion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amuerion/gifts).



Lance stared unblinkingly at the computer screen in front of him, feeling his light boredom gradually evolving into a flood of ennui. Things were boring and quiet. No grand space battles, no planets to liberate, not even a fake distress call that turned out to be space pirates in disguise who needed a good spanking. He was bored beyond tears.

With his daily workout already done and the others off handling their own things, he didn't even have anyone to bug. Which led to him absconding with one of Pidge’s laptops and aimlessly looking about the Internet. 

He'd manage to find a couple of cat videos that made him laugh, but nothing that particularly snapped him out of his funk. Until he decided to search his name.

‘Lance’ had, predictably, returned page after page of links detailing medieval weaponry. A change was in order.

‘Lance charming suave debonair handsome humble savior’ had, frustratingly, returned pages of links on how to avoid writing a Gary Stu for a novel. 

Third time’s the charm, and he thought it a good idea to tone things down a little. ‘Lance paladin Voltron’. 

Surprisingly, he hit pay dirt. There were a few blogs devoted to info on the Paladins of Voltron, and their galactic exploits. Even a few pictures when they were at their more high-profile events. And Lance smiled, grateful that every one of him showed his good side--which was every side.

Then he found a section titled ‘Galactic Popularity Rankings.’

“Ooh, promising!” he chuckled, gleefully rubbing his hands together. “Let's see…’official popularity ranking of the Paladins of Voltron’...” And as his eyes scanned the poll, his smile faded, until it disappeared altogether, before turning into an outraged scowl. “What the heck!?”

-/-/-/-/-

If looks could kill, the look Lance was giving Keith could behead, deep-fry, and stuff for Thanksgiving. His eyes were narrowed into slits so thin, it was a wonder he could see at all, and his arms were crossed so tight they looked like they could pop off at any moment.

“You're gonna get wrinkles.” Pidge commented, reaching over to the Cuban’s untouched food goo and spooning it into her plate.

Lance said nothing, continuing to glare sharp instruments at Keith as though the pilot would collapse from the force of his nonverbal rage.

“What's up with you?” Hunk waved his hand in front of his face. “You're not usually so...scrunchy.”

“Oh, you wanna know what's up!?” Lance suddenly shouted, making the table jump in surprise. From his jacket pocket he produced the laptop, set it down on the table, and whipped it open. “ _This_ is what's up!”

“Hey, that's mine!” shouted Pidge. “You better not have looked up anything weird!”

Keith leaned forward, scanning the page with scrutiny. “‘Paladins of Voltron popularity rankings’...wait, I'm in first place?”

“What!?” Hunk and Pidge yelled in unison, running out of their chairs to look at the screen. Sure enough, in the polls, Keith topped the list.

“How'd that happen?” asked Keith, genuinely puzzled.

“That's what I wanna know! I mean, look at me! Suave, debonair, handsome, a wicked physique--”

“Overwhelming modesty…” cut in Pidge, rolling her eyes.

“Exactly! I ought to be number one, not three!” Next to him, Pidge facepalmed.

“So, wait, where'm I on the list?” asked Hunk.

“Fifth.”

“What!?” Hunk grabbed the laptop, unable to believe his eyes. “But, but...I'm so loveable! And funny! Funny goes a long way!”

Pidge tilted her head. “What about me?” 

“Fourth. But I think that's ‘cuz you're cuter than Hunk is.”

Hunk shouted “I beg your _pardon_?” just as Pidge snapped “I’m not cute!”

“You kind of are.” Keith said, barely suppressing his smirk. 

Pidge puffed out her cheeks and stomped her foot. “I'm not cute! Tell them, Hunk!”

The brunt clasped his hands together, his cheeks turning pink. “Sorry, Pidge. I can't tell a lie. You're as cute as a baby Chozo trying on a flower crown.”

“I'm gonna thump you!” Pidge leapt upwards, wrapping her legs around Hunk’s shoulders and applying noogie after noogie. 

While the two carried on, Keith had a question to ask Lance. “So, if I'm one, you're third, Pidge is fourth and Hunk is fifth…”

Two pairs of eyes turned to look at Shiro, who was eating calmly, earbuds in as he watched something on his tablet. Taking notice of Lance and Keith’s staring, he plucked one out. “What's up?”

The two shared a glance, then down at the laptop, where Shiro’s name was visible in the number two spot.

“...Nothing.” Shrugging, Shiro put his earbud back in, returning to his meal.

“So, number one amongst the Paladins?” grinned Keith. “Maybe I should make all of you call me ‘Ichiban’ from now on.”

“Not even if the alternative was getting thrown out of an airlock!” Lance huffed. 

“Easy, easy, simmer. If you want an autograph, all you gotta do is ask.”

Lance bristled with mock anger as Keith left, plopping back in his chair and returning his pilfered food goo to its rightful owner, scarfing down at light speed.

Shiro eventually found out he was on the poll. He was surprised to have placed higher than three. 

Pidge forbade Lance from touching her laptop again without express permission.

Hunk let the matter drop in about a week.

Lance was grumpy for a few days.

Keith lorded his status for a month until he was dethroned.

By Allura.

END


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